Thursday, July 14, 2016

Stress Free Mama of Three: 5 things you need to teach your child so he won't ...

Stress Free Mama of Three: 5 things you need to teach your child so he won't ...: Parents, I am a little upset with some of you.  I have gone out of my way to teach my children to be respectful, courteous, polite and w...

5 things you need to teach your child so he won't be an A$$H@le

Parents, I am a little upset with some of you.  I have gone out of my way to teach my children to be respectful, courteous, polite and well, frankly not to be assholes.   I have gone out of my way to NEVER be that family in the restaurant or the airplane.  I have made great efforts to make sure my kids don't yell or act like raving lunatics in public.  I also have insisted that they are to respect you, and behave in a civil manner while in public.  Have you returned this courtesy? Some of you, yes... many of you, No.   

You have the kids that kick seats, who throw tantrums because you have said no, that don't use manners, and are loud as hell in public and places.  Don't even get me started on those of you who bring small children to a movie.  Now, maybe you haven't had the knowledge handed to you about how to prevent the asshole from invading your sweet child's body. I also understand that it is easier to just apologize for an asshole than it is dealing with the asshole yourself.  Trust me... I get that.  So, lets try to nip the asshole behavior in the bud shall we?  Here are 5 tips on how NOT to have an asshole for a child.

1.  ALWAYS use an indoor voice
     Teach your little to not yell, raise a voice, or speak louder than another. Do this by insisting not to answer or acknowledge what they are saying until they lower their voice to an appropriate tone.  Playing with others outside, is a bit different, but even so, screaming is never appropriate. Others are effected by the earth shattering shrill that your little one gives out.  Frankly, if your kid is a screamer, don't take him to places where screaming isn't appropriate, until he's ready to use "his indoor voice".  Also, get down onto your kids level. This means kneeling and looking them in the eye, and say "I hear you, can you say it quietly please or we won't talk at all".  Kids also need to know that yell talking is just that - yelling.  I have found that kids that yell talk don't feel like they are heard, so they speak loudly. 
In addition,  if your child starts yelling and screaming in a place of business, please, for the love of god, leave right then. Don't try and negotiate with them, they are not able to listen to you.  Let them know you will talk to them when they are done and not a moment sooner. (I find the 'lean in, low voice' gets them to snap right out of it) . The groceries will still be there, the restaurant will hold your order and people will applaud you for taking care of that shit. 

2. Do NOT interrupt adults while they are speaking to each other/on the phone.

    Nip this in the bud early 'rents.  If you don't, your conversations will NEVER be respected. I have seen teenagers talk over parents, and even seen grown ass adults minimize others conversations with their own dumb questions.  Teach them how to properly interrupt if something is non- life threatening or if information MUST be given immediately.  Like,
"Excuse me, mom. The oven is ready".   A non-urgent method is to stand near or next to the person you need to interrupt, clasp your hands and interject at a break in conversation with an "I am sorry to interrupt, but..".  Best way for the kids to learn this... show them.  Don't interrupt them.  If you do, apologize for it.  It's rude, no matter who you are or how old you are. Remember when Kanye interrupted? Yeah, we all do, and we all still think he's a douche for doing it. 

3.  Hold the door for others.
     This one is easy right?  Yeah, clearly from the door that was let go in my face by a teenager earlier today, it's not.  Teach your kids, both girls and boys, how to properly hold the door open.  If the door opens out, you grasp the handle, and stand, behind the door.  If it opens in, walk through then stand behind the door.  ALWAYS hold the door for an elder, and then pass it off to the next person (preferably to a male) of equal or lessor age.  And boys.. ALWAYS, ALWAYS hold                                                             the door for a lady, of any age.  

4.  Bodily Functions belong in the bathroom.

                       (This one doesn't apply to those 7 or under.) 
 Teach them that passing gas, burping, or mouth centered noises are just plain inappropriate, outside the rest room or their bedroom.  NO ONE, aside from the perpetrator themselves, ever enjoys a fart cloud.  They also don't like hearing it. In short,  keep your mouth and butt from emitting gases.  This is not hard to teach, it should be something easily explained and immediately expected.  Simple put, don't let your gross.  

5.  Teach your children to say Please, Thank You, You're Welcome, and I am Sorry.  CORRECTLY.

     "Can I have that?".  "I want that". " Give me that."  Any of these sound familiar?  Of course they do, you have a child!  Now, have you made sure that they don't get 'that' with out saying please and thank you?  Do you ask them for items or tasks by saying please and thank you?  If you answer either one of these no, you need to start.  Also, learn to use and teach them to use "You're welcome" correctly.  When you provide something to another and they thank you, say a sincere welcome.  Not, yeah, or sure.. a freaking "you're welcome.   And... only insist that your child say "sorry" if is needed or warranted  Don't make them apologize if another child is being an asshole, don't certainly don't make them apologize to an adult for not knowing manners. Thats where you should apologize.   If your child is being unruly, remove them and apologize to the offended party by saying yourself," I am sorry, we are working on our manners." It's not the kids fault if you haven't taken the time to teach them not to be an asshole. 

Now.. if they know their manners, have shown mastering of said manners and they still act a fool... by all means make them apologize. Then let it go.  By pointing out the mistake and making the correction, you have done your job. If anything else should be said it should be "I expect that next time we won't have this problem" or "Is this something we need to work on, or do you understand now?"  Give them the opportunity to prove to you that they get it, and don't shame them for a mistake.  Never shame a child.  They are kids and it's YOUR responsibility to provide the life lessons so they don't become asshole adults.  They learn what they are taught, and you are their greatest teacher. Don't screw this up. 

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Try, Try, and then Try again. It's never been a "How To".

     About 5 years ago, I decided to start a blog.  Why, I have no idea other than I wanted to get the words out of my head.  It started as a "get to know you" project and it grew from there.  Some of my posts were an attempt to be someone more important than I truly am, some posts were from my heart. Those posts are my favorite.  I am nothing but a momma trying to raise her kids in the most enjoyable way possible, and I lost sight of this blog and its attempt to chronicle that.  That's the purpose right?  To be a testimony of how attempting to be as stress free as possible happens?  Well, it's hard. 

     Like most mothers and wives, there are times that I don't want to claim these children as mine, and I don't want to make my loving husband dinner, not because I don't love him, but because I am exhausted.  I cook most all of our meals, breakfast, lunch and dinner.  I clean something every day.  Whether its the bathrooms, the floors, the windows (yeah.. I do windows), or just laundry... I clean everyday.  I also homeschool our two youngest and keep them active with after school activities.   Now... with all the stuff, on top of "just being a human being" kind of tasks, you ask how can I keep it stress-free?  The honest answer is..... I don't.  I try, but it doesn't always end up being 100% stress-free.  For example...

      I decided to homeschool the kids early last year, after a terrible public school experience.  It could have been a seamless transition.  It should have been simple, right?  Just wake up, teach them and call it school.  Nope!  As I found out, there was much more detail in our decision.  Not only were there legal documents that needed to be filed, supplies I had to buy (again, since I had already supplied the public school for each child), but there was the curriculum to decide upon.  Now, we decided to "do school" through a Charter School that has a homeschooling track.  You can either take their pre-packaged curriculum (Common Core or Non-Common Core) or build your own.  You are given a budget and document support as well, so it's easy either way.  Now, the easy way would be just to take the pre-packaged for the first year and "build your own" after you actually know what you are doing.  
That's what my husband suggested, and that is was I resigned myself to do when we made the big jump.  But then I started....thinking.  As I perused the new curriculum, I let myself stress about if this was the best choice.  Was this the right curricula, was this the best I could do for them?  I freaked myself out.  I let myself drive myself crazy.  It took my husband taking my curriculum review books away from me, then giving me a stern talking to about 'letting this year being about the experience, not the curriculum'.  Fortunately, I listened to him.  I took what I was given and made the very best of it. Did I change our curriculum for next year? You bet your sweet butt I did.  Did my kids LOVE school and excel at the curriculum we had?  Yeppers!  Was my stressing a waste of energy?  Yeppers, again.  

What I am trying to say is that my life is nothing close to stress-free, but I make an effort in all I do to achieve that.  I make it part of our daily life to be mindful and calm.  Usually, after I lose my head, or struggle to get the kids to play nicely, but nonetheless, I try.  And that's the point right?  If you purposefully try to eliminate stress, you have already taken a step in the right direction.  You are trying.

I took a test recently at my doctor 's office, when I was looking for a more natural treatment for my thyroid issues.  The test was mostly about stress.  I sat there, blue pen poised in my hand to circle the most appropriate number for each "trigger" that was listed.  It was a 0-10 style ranking and I was grateful to find myself circling most all of them a 3 or below.  My main stressor was family.  Now.. before you start jumping to conclusions, its not my immediate family that stresses the hell of out me. 

My husband and I are an awesome team, and since he came into my life 16 years ago, my stress levels have plummeted dramatically.  My children are wonderful, crazy but wonderful.  It's the loss of my father, the estrangement of my mother, the never-ending seeking of approval from my mother-in-law and new her eccentric-republican husband, and all the crap that comes along with these interactions.  And even that rated a 5 because well, it's just family.

I was interested in what other peoples answers were.  What is the most common stressor and how high do people usually rate it?  When I asked my doctor, she immediately answered "Money then Marriage, both 10's". 

As I drove home, I pondered the two stressors that seemed to go hand in hand of each other.  I realized that I, and one point, had these two stressors and tried to recall how I dealt with them.  Matt and I had both, separately,  been financially ruined by our first marriages.  We were both dealing with debt in our own right, and then we teamed up to take it on together.  I feel blessed, our marriage was never stressed by money, as many couples seem to be.  We have such an open dialog about money, and what we do with it.  Matt agreed, when I asked for his input on this topic, that while it is general stressor, it doesn't stress our marriage.  He also pointed out that it isn't a major stressor because we have the same goal in mind.  We believe that if a couple doesn't agree on the financial goals for the family, that where the stress would come to rest is between them. 

 As for the other major stressor, I didn't realize it at the time but it occurred without me really knowing it. Taking place after the birth of our daughter and for about a good year after, I suffered from a terrible bout of depression.  While we worked our way out of it, slowly, it truly was a test of our marriage.  My husband never complained (not until years after) and he was 100% supportive of anything that I would try to do.  I went back to work(briefly), took medications (for about 2 weeks), went to the gym (religiously), went on retreats (Yoga anyone?), changed my hair (black, red, blonde, then red), went vegan (until bacon came calling) and finally... FINALLY when I stopped trying to be anything else but me, did I start to feel, well... me again.  

At the time, I had no clue our marriage was stressed.  Looking back, I can see how it was, and how terrible it was for my husband.  But in no way did he ever stop loving me, in fact, he has said it made him want to love me more, because it was obviously that is what I needed. It was.   

So, I guess this long little blog about stress is just me trying to show that, while the name of this blog is "stress-free mom of three", I am in no way a model of stress-free living.  This is not a "How-To", this is a "Hope To" kind of blog.  I'd love to hear how you all deal with your stress.  Please leave a comment about a time you had a stressful event/time/period and how you dealt or are dealing with it. Feel free to also share how you try to be stress-free, I love to hear what works for other Moms (and Dads) out there. Cheers! 

Monday, March 7, 2016

The Top Five in Homeschool Advice

We have been homeschooling for a year now.  Along this journey, I have trafficked many websites, read homeschooling periodicals, scanned blogs, and ingested advice to the point I am now seeing homeschool spots.
It is wonderful to know that there is overwhelming support for any parent that believes themselves unworthy to be an at-home teacher. What is even more of a blessing, is the amount of people that believe in you, when you don't.  So, with all the blogs, books, magazines, and advice that I have consumed, what are the best piece's of that pie you ask?  Well... since the internet loves lists, here are my TOP FIVE:

                Pretty simply, at the end of the school day, find your happy.  If its just a quick reflection, a silly song, or a nice story to read aloud... finish your day's curriculum with a smile. As educators and parents, we can become so focused on the task and not the fun.  Try to plan your day with your funnest activity last.

                When one of us is crying, this means something is not working. If the tears do fall, take a hard look at the curriculum.  It may need tweaking, or you may need to tweak your teaching.  If you are the one crying, teach it when you are freshest, at the start of the day.  If that doesn't help, enlist some help. Dad, a friend or an online tutor.   But once those tears of frustration fall, move on.
Now... if these are tears of sadness because you have shamed or scolded them for not understanding, maybe homeschooling is not for you.  I have met a few brave mommas that have been strong enough to admit that they just couldn't hack it at home.  Homeschooling is not easy. Not all moms could or should homeschool, and it's not a failure if you admit that to yourself.

                 Yep... you love your schedule, but you hate it, too. Come on, admit it! You know you want to tear that thing up and make it hamster bedding. Yes, they help you stay on task, but they also can kill the joy of the flexibility that schooling at home is supposed to give.  So, yes, please keep your beloved schedule.  But may I suggest a loose one?  So many websites, blogs, books, and such, have shown examples of schedules, some so intense, they are down to the quarter hour.   Personally, I took my kiddos out of school to avoid such rigidity. From all this advice, I chose to use a list. Every day, I write a list of the areas of study we are going to cover for the day, in the order we will do them in. Crossing them off, as we go. Kids LOVE doing this, and it gives them the satisfaction of seeing a task get "done".  We give ourselves a window of five hours to get it all done.  If we need more time with math, we have it.  If we don't get to grammar, it goes to the top of the list tomorrow.  Those five hours include lunch and outdoor/play time.  We learned very early on that strict schedules just aren't "us".  For many, schedules are a must. So by all means, please keep your schedules, but try not to be a slave to it.

                  If you are a Christian, home-schooling your children, this is most likely a HUGE reason you are doing what you are doing.  Most, if not all, of the homeschooling parents I know, are Christians.  They implement God's word in all they do and teach.  This is awesome, if you are a Christian.
       If you aren't Christian, you might be thinking... "Why should I teach my child The Bible?  Well, you shouldn't.  If you are an atheist, teach Darwin's theory of evolution.  If you are a Buddhist, teach the Eight-fold path.  If you are a purple people eater, teach purple people eating.  You follow?  Our family happens to be Unitarians, so we teach it all.  We have several books that we rotate, and our children are given a world's view of spirituality.  We believe daily devotionals are important because they give children lessons in mindfulness, compassion, empathy, and patience.  Every religion embodies those key attributes.  A daily moment of mindfulness, no matter what your religion, is helpful for children to connect to their own beliefs, and helps them understand the world around them.

                  Yep.. I said it... don't listen to me!  Don't listen to one iota of the crap you read on the internet, hear from friends, or get from books.  Listen to your heart.  That's why you are here right? You decided on homeschooling because you believed, in your heart, it was the best for your child.  See! You took to heart what you heard, read, or saw. Your heart is what made your decision.  I write this, hoping you don't listen to this blog, but you take this blog to heart.  If I had listened to ALL the advice I heard and read, I'd be a red hot mess.  (Okay, a bigger, red hot mess than I already am.)  Just like when you eat, your body takes the best out of every bite.  Everything else ends up to be, well, crap.

Monday, February 22, 2016

Stress-Free, Home-Schooling Mama? Yep! That's me!!

It's a bad feeling when you drop your kids off at school and feel guilty.  Guilty for what you ask?  Guilty for feeling elated to have the next 6 hours to myself(!!) may have been your first thought that races to mind, but this is not the guilty I am feeling.  I am feeling guilty for dropping them off at a school that under teaches, and over compensates for second language students.  I am not, in anyway, saying that kids that need that extra help aren't entitled to it.  Not in the least.  What I am saying, is that in our school district (in California) the kids, who are above the average, are now no longer focused on.

Our school had discontinued AP/GATE classes, to make room for Spanish Speaking only classrooms.  Yes, you read that right.  They replaced Advanced Learning with Spanish Speaking only.  Now, you could probably say that most of the children in our economically and socially diverse

school wouldn't be directly effected with this change, but my kids were.  My kids were now the kids that the teachers used as tutors or would not "worry" ( the word my sons teacher used during conference) about because they were already at the required
Common Core Curriculum goal for their grade.  My daughter can read at a 8th Grade level with full comprehension and my son was off the 2nd grade charts for Math and Reading.  Now, after discussing a possible class change with the Principal, I was told that 1) She doesn't "do" class changes, and 2) if I wanted more of a challenge, I should supplement at home.  ( I could write a whole other blog about this principal, but it would be a waste of internet space).

But that didn't take care of my problem.  That being my children would still be wasting 6 hours of their day "waiting" for other kids to reach their level of comprehension.

So whats a frustrated, guilt stricken mom to do?

Yep.. I pulled those kids out of that school, pronto.  Okay, not Pronto per-say, but as soon as I possibly could.  I researched charter schools, private schools, and homeschooling options.  While I found that most private schools didn't take mid-year enrollment, I did find a highly rated Charter School that had a homeschool option. Bingo!  That was it!  They would attend 2 days a week, while I would implement the curriculum, at home, for the rest of the week.  This was perfect!!  I could enter into the homeschooling pool via the shallow in, instead of diving straight in from a 10ft board, right into the super-scary deep end.
I was nervous, I was excited.... I was nervo-cited. (new word, tell your friends). What I wasn't was scared or guilt-ridden. I knew it was the best choice for my two youngest.  
Okay... you must be thinking- this crunchy granola loving mama is crazy.  But I am not.  With all of the statistics on Homeschooling being far better for children than traditional school, I never thought it was a hair-brained idea. I am now in control of my children's education.  If I see they need more help on fractions, I can spend that time with them figuring a specific method out.  Where in a traditional class, the teacher would say "practice more at home" and move on to the next lesson without making sure all children have a full understanding of the last lesson.  Being a Math Teachers' kid, I know that this MUST happen, and it is frustrating for both teacher and students, but it's what they are required to do. Mom's don't have to stick to the curriculum.  Thats the thing... we can spend as much or as little on a specific subject that we want to. How often do you see kids bored out of their gourds when the teacher is droning on and on about something they have no interest in, or they understand completely?  Yeah... I remember being in those classes, too.

In the 8 weeks that we have been transitioning  or "un-schooling", I have seen a huge change in my children.  They no longer answer "Nothing" when their father asks "What did you learn at School today?"  They can tell him, in detail, what they did in each subject.  I have also noticed they interact with adults on a higher wave length now.  Maybe this is because they aren't made to feel shame or guilt here at home, where at school they are scolded for raising their hand when the teacher is talking.

Maybe its because I am not "Teaching" or lecturing to them, but sitting next to them while they work out the lesson themselves.  I am helping them learn to self-teach.  I am helping them research and understand.  I am not teaching them, I am supporting them.  Wow... think about that.  If all teachers would support and not preach... imagine how empowering that would be for a child.

I have also noticed a change in my kiddos when it comes to concentration.   Before, my son would get distracted quite easily.  He would want to talk to his classmates and discuss the work.  Of course, a majority of teachers hate this, and quickly shush kids in a shaming way.  We encourage him to ask questions, to converse with his sister or classmates, about what they are learning.  Squashing the natural desire to work together is teaching children that it's not okay to work as a team.  Isn't that what we DO want?  Teamwork is a  skill that a majority of kids don't know possess.  Because they are taught at an early age not to work together.  Chew on that.....  yep.  They are taught, at an early age, that working together is wrong.

Now... I am not saying to remove your children from public school, or that homeschooling is the only way to go.  In fact, if we hadn't had moved from affluent suburbia, I would have kept them in public school.   But if we hadn't moved to the country, if we hadn't been adamant for a more challenging curriculum for our kids, I wouldn't know the joy of helping my children take control of their education with their own hands.
Seeing my kids soar is so rewarding.  Knowing that if we hadn't made the choice to homeschool, I would continue to feel that guilt everyday by forcing my kids to endure those doldrum classes.
It's also a wonderful feeling, knowing that I get the best of my kids, and they get the best of me on a daily basis.

So far, I haven't once had to beg them to do their work.  We have the flexibility to learn when we want, how we want, and where we want.   We have even had a "field trip" to the Zoo and do our math with tigers.  I feel very lucky to have this opportunity and thankful that my children wanted to do it, too.

My two kiddos haven't missed traditional school yet, and from what they continue to say, I don't think they will.  They are able to learn through hands-on experiences, they are in more activities because they aren't restricted to "School-Hours", and they see friends that are in the same learning situation they are.  With all the benefits that home-schooling has blessed us with, I wonder everyday why we didn't do it sooner.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

No title is worthy.. Rest in Peace Robin Williams

Robin Williams passed away this week.  It's a tragic loss and is such a shock, that it truly has taken me days to deal with my feelings and emotions concerning his passing.   I am not alone, and I am not special in my mourning.  Robin Williams, I am sure, means more to so many others that he does to me.  His family,  his friends, his peers, and his many, many adoring fans are all grieving in their own way, at their own level of loss.   I see posts on social media sites showing personal tributes and depictions of scenes from his more famous movies.  I witness the media sensationalize his death and its circumstances.  He took his life, it is tragic and hopefully now we all realize that even the happiest seeming person can have an overwhelming sadness inside.

We all have a Robin Williams story and a reason why we mourn him.  He was that comedic powerhouse of quick wit, brilliant impersonations and he possessed a natural aptitude for finding the funny in everything.  My story is most likely, no different than many stories out there. I also don't pretend to think for a moment that it's any more special.  But I need to release it, to let it be known, to let it go.

When I was a child, my dad and I would watch Happy Days, Laverne & Shirley, and then Mork & Mindy reruns every Sunday morning.  Mork was always my favorite because of the fact he seemed childlike, innocent, and in total wonderment of the world around him.   We were fortunate to have HBO and in the late 80's,  Robin Williams, Billy Crystal and Whoopi Goldberg started an awesome comedy special called "Comic Relief".  My dad loves stand up and he would let me watch most all of the comics with him.  His laugh would fill the room, and if things were really funny.. he would give his loud "laugh clap".  Robin Williams was one of his favorites.  Therefore, becoming one of mine.     I equate Robin Williams to my father's laughter.

Many of you know that my dad is fighting Stage 4 Metastatic Melanoma.  He has tumors in his lungs, brain, colon, and abdomen.  While he is in treatment, it is just that, a treatment. Not a cure.  I have had to wrestle with the reality of my fathers mortality as of late and hearing of Robins Williams death hit me particularly hard. Harder than it may have, if circumstances were different.   His passing created a reality for me that I wasn't quite ready to accept.

I  realized that one day, I will no longer get to hear my dad laugh. My dad has a great laugh. And now someone that made my dad and I laugh together for decades, is gone.  No longer able to continue to make my dad "laugh clap" at a time he needs laughter the most.

I am heartbroken, but so are we all.  All of us differently, but also in the same way.  We lost a person who created happiness and joy in a world that can be filled with sadness and pain.  We needed Robin Williams.    He brought joy to us in everything he did.  Now that he has gone, life just feels a little less...funny.

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

The Invasion of the Crappy People..


Most of the time, I usually struggle with this little Blog ( as you can note from the 7 month hiatus) for one of the two following reasons:

1)  I am to busy to take care of everything else much less this bloggity blog blog.

or  - and most likely - 

2)  I am scared shit-less that I am going to offend someone.  (see, right there... I probably just offended someone with my crassness.) 

As with most things in life, you run the risk of offending some one.  I run that risk everyday.  I have a major problem with speaking before thinking, OR thinking and speaking AT THE SAME TIME!!  (EEK!!)  You know that moment where you realize you just said something in your "out loud voice". So knowing that I am socially inept, I try very diligently to run in circles of people that I except me to who I am, that won't judge me or who won't be offended with a slight vulgarity once and a while.  

So that all being said,  I wanted to touch on a subject of when you can't avoid people who judge.  Who make you uncomfortable in your own skin.  Those who will never just accept you for who you simple are.  While it is an awkward feeling, it shouldn't be a powerless one.  Knowing that it's their issue, not yours, is HUGE. The minute you know that, the better off you will be. 

For so many years, I was so concerned with what other people thought.  This was due to years and years of listening to my mother tell me, actually ask me, "What will 'so and so' think?" I was seven!  Why should I be troubled with questions like that?!  It took me awhile to realize that people don't really give a damn about me and my troubles.  People are pretty self centered.  They don't go home and think... "I wonder what she is doing?"  I mean, I had secretly wished all those boys I had crushed on in school did, but I now know that they didn't.  People have lives, they have bills, they have troubles.  They don't worry about my shoes and the scuffs on them, nor to they care if the braids on my little girl are perfectly straight or not.   I look at my mother now, and I see this question still plaguing her.  I have many times told her to stop caring to much, and she says "I Know, I know"... but I know she still cares what the neighbors think... even though she has never EVER let the neighbors into her house.  

So back to those judgemental crappy people.  I think that Dr. Seuss said it best, " Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."   Think about that.  Surround yourself with people who matter to you, and you matter to them.  Sometimes we just have to be around terrible people, but make those moments learning moments. Look and see how you do not want to act by way of how they are acting.  Know that these moments are temporary and look at those judgemental, crappy people and hope that they have people in their life that make them better people. Because while you may not like them at that very moment, someone must and they matter to someone too.  

As for this blog,  I am going to stop worrying so much about offending you guys.  I am pretty sure that if you get offended, you can avert your eyes, move your mouse, or just click delete.  I would hope that you would start a conversation... that would be the awesome thing to do... but you know... just a suggestion.